Me and My Nine Iron

January 11, 2010

And so it begins…

Equal rights for the blind: Two organizations representing a blind ASU student settled with the university Monday over a discrimination lawsuit that the Amazon Kindle’s inaccessibility to blind students constituted a violation of federal law.

Yeah, the Kindle DX doesn’t have read-aloud menus, but what are you doing showing blind people these convenient devices that they’re likely to complain about in the first place? Well, obviously you’re not showing them visually because they can’t see, but you know what I mean. Just keep quiet, and lead them to that book on cassette. And you can tell the student’s in over his eyes because he’s suing the university offering this service and not Amazon. Right. Because that makes sense.

Plastic Surgery iPhone App: First, there were games. Then, there were cool apps like the one that could identify a song by listening to the music (which didn’t work the one time I used it). Now, you can play “doctor,” and make your boobs bigger. Folks, we might have reached the pinnacle of iPhone apps. But seriously, say no to fake boobies. Unless Lou Ferrigno gives you a run for your money. Then, you should at least give this app a try.

For video game rentals: If you have that game or two you want to check out before you buy or just want to play a few times before you’re over it like DJ Hero, take advantage of the Blockbuster/Netflix of video games with a free 15-day trial at

Thanks to Dan for suggesting this be made, and to Diablo Cody for paving the way. Thank God blind people can’t read. Please don’t show them this. Really. They might sue me for, wait for it, not offering a read-aloud post.




  1. You attorney asshole. Thanks for that clarification.

    Naw, just trying to spread the love.

    Comment by Bryan — January 12, 2010 @ 3:03 pm | Reply

  2. the federal law being violated probably doesn’t hold private companies (like Amazon) accountable for that kind of discrimination. A public school, however, is an arm of the state government which probably does fall under that statute’s jurisdiction.

    i like how you’re pimping out gamefly. hope you’re gettin paid for it.

    Comment by D — January 12, 2010 @ 11:36 am | Reply

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