Me and My Nine Iron

January 14, 2010

Don’t watch Avatar

Suicidal over Avatar: Have you guys heard this? Some people who’ve watched Avatar experience depression and even contemplate suicide over not being able to be on the fictitious planet Pandora. On Avatar forums, one said that “the world seemed…gray. It was like my whole life…lost its meaning.” Another “even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.'”

I understand that some epic movies stick on you after you watch them, and that’s natural. To make the aforementioned remarks should put you on suicide watch. Some people have been depressed and “going through the motions” of their lives for the past several weeks! I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to change into an unattractive blue creature unless maybe you had a condition like the main character did. And you know these fans don’t. Who said James Cameron was a genius?

Palin under fire: Sarah Palin has been under fire for charging big bucks for an appearance next month. Below is her speech fee compared with some other politicians.

Fee for basic domestic speech:

Bill Clinton in 2007 – $150,000
Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee in 2009 – $25,000
Sarah Palin – $100,000

Bill Clinton speech earnings in 2007 alone – $10 million

I’m not even going to ask if you’d pay $349 to hear Palin speak. But West Coast peeps, we get a regional discount for a cool $75,000.

What did the pope ever do to you?: A 25-year-old woman with a history of psychiatric problems knocked down Pope Benedict XVI at St. Peter’s Basilica during Christmas Eve Mass. This is the same woman that tried to reach the pope during the Midnight Mass service in 2008, but couldn’t get to him then.

I remember being told once that the pope had more security than the President of the United States. What happened there, guys? That’s like the Salahis crashing the next presidential state dinner.

Check out the video here. I wonder if the other robed figures are trained to take a bullet for him like Secret Service. Sure didn’t look like it here.

You look weird sad.

JLH: Finally, I need to address the once-beautiful Jennifer Love Hewitt. The Heartbreakers bombshell spilled on her upcoming book, and let me be the first to say you’re a lucky man, Jamie Kennedy.

“After a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovski Crystaled my precious lady and it shined like a disco ball and so I have a whole chapter in there about how women should ‘vajazzle’ their vajay-jays.”

Answer to yesterday’s riddle: I didn’t know this, but in the books, Pinocchio’s nose would grow even when he’s just stressed out. The film didn’t depict that, did it? In short, his nose would grow however you look at it.

And today’s: A man pushed his car to a hotel and lost his fortune. What happened? (Answer to be provided on the next post.)



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