Me and My Nine Iron

March 18, 2010

Bernie wants the cloak now

A Walmart store in New Jersey is making news over a public-address announcement made on Wednesday. A male voice said, “Attention, Walmart customers: All black people, leave the store now.”

No word yet on whether the voice was that of a black person.

The December events of Bernie Madoff‘s prison injuries were confirmed today that they were actually the result of a much-rumored jumping that he received, contrary to previous reports that he fell out of his bunk bed to sustain facial fractures and lacerations, broken ribs and a collapsed lung requiring an extended hospital stay.

The fellow inmate was described as a “beefy” gent who possessed a black belt

Gold bars.

in judo—and had a personal grievance stemming from a Madoff-contracted debt he believed he was owed. If that doesn’t sound like bad news, I don’t know what does.

A German research team reported a breakthrough in the cloak of invisibility, cloaking a bump in a layer of gold and working in three dimensions for the first time ever.

Here’s to fearing cloaking as much as cloning when scientists are finally able to apply this to humans.



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