Me and My Nine Iron

May 21, 2010

This week’s top stories

Charlie Sheen. Just another case of America rewarding the undeserving (see Robert Downey Jr.). If you haven’t heard, Sheen received just the contract that he demanded: $2 million per 22-minute episode (not including commercials) for his hit show, Two and a Half Men, times 22 episodes times 2 seasons. (I’ll break down the math for you later.) This after his high-profile, murderous antics on his wife just earlier this year.

The highest-paid TV actor, perhaps of all-time (remember when the Friends cast each got the exorbitant amount of $1 million per episode for the final season or when Ray Romano got $1 million per episode for Everybody Loves Raymond, which he co-wrote, or most recently, Steve Carell commanding $1 million per episode for The Office), gets a significant raise over his previous $825,000 salary per episode. It also comes after production was delayed for two and a half months, ironically, while Sheen went on “preventative rehab.”

The story that I’m inclined to believe, however, is that he walked out on the set, upset that he was lowballed for $1 million an episode in the renewal contract. If anyone should be mad now, it’s Jon Cryer, who shares the exact amount of screen time with Sheen and probably isn’t even seeing half of what Sheen will. But no one on TV will, for that matter.

Who says TV doesn’t pay as well as the movies? Sheen’s $44 million per year is equivalent to the highest-paid actor coming out with two movies in a year. The amount of work put in clearly doesn’t add up, if you ask me. He’ll be making almost $91,000 per minute, which is usually a healthy amount for one to make in an entire episode. More sadly, that’s the minimum amount for an entire screenplay (or months of work).

They should’ve booted his ass like Jason Bay booted Megan Fox from Transformers 3 for her rip on his directing. I know it won’t happen, but I hope it doesn’t do as well as the previous two because of the casting change.

I’ve been staying up a little later lately, and so I’ve been catching some Late Night with Jimmy Fallon this week. Things I’ve noticed on this week’s show:

  1. Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland, Zombieland) is weird. He talks fast, almost like he’s nervous, but he’s not. I think he’d be really awkward to talk to.
  2. Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory) is the same as his geeky character on his show, which is kind of cool. I half-expected him to be nothing like that, just being really good at playing up this stereotypical science nerd. And did you know he’s 37 years old? He pulls off a 20-something-year-old as well as Michael Steger fits in at 90210. Steger turns 30 on Thursday.
  3. Jimmy Fallon has convinced me to watch MacGruber – in the dollar theater. Yeah, he had Will Forte and Kristen Wiig both on his show this week, but the sheer excitement Fallon has for everyone else to watch this funny movie he’s already seen sold me. Plus, I love the SNL sketches. That being said, if this movie isn’t 3-star caliber in my book, I’m never watching his show again.
  4. Jimmy Fallon still sucks as late-night talk show host.

Finally, I feel like Iron Man 2 unofficially kicked off the summer movie season. Without doing any digging, here’s a list of some intriguing blockbuster movies.

Get Him to the Greek (6/4) – In the follow-up to Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Russell Brand reprises his role as Aldous Snow, the out-of-control British rocker. And this time, he’s not sober. Jonah Hill plays a completely different character, which is a little disappointing to hear he’s not reprising his role as the weirdo infatuated with Snow. Also disappointing is how it appears Jason Segel didn’t write the screenplay; that was credited to director Nicholas Stoller. Judd Apatow‘s only movie this year better not disappoint.

The Karate Kid (6/11) – A remake with Jaden Smith trying to replace Ralph Macchio‘s shoes. No way, right? It actually looks like it came out pretty well. Two things: 1) Jackie Chan‘s character says he’s going to teach Smith’s Kung Fu. Isn’t that completely different from karate? 2) Smith is a cocky son of a bitch when I saw him on Oprah, nothing like his humble dad. I think his big head has already got to him.

The Last Airbender (7/2) – I swear the first time I saw this trailer, I read The Last Arbender, but oh well. M. Night Shyamalan‘s departure from his signature horror to fantasy adventure is an interesting take. The fight scenes look good, M. Maybe, this will give you your first 7.0 film on IMDb since Unbreakable in 2000.

Inception (7/16) – Four words. Christopher Nolan. Leonardo DiCaprio.




  1. Don’t read movie Wiki pages. They have the entire synopsis. But, maybe I just shouldn’t have told you that.

    Comment by Bryan — May 26, 2010 @ 1:44 pm | Reply

  2. i’m so geeked for inception. but goddamn the internet – i read a massive spoiler alert the other week. i just couldn’t resist.

    Comment by Chris Le — May 26, 2010 @ 7:56 am | Reply

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