Me and My Nine Iron

October 26, 2010

What would you do?

Filed under: For your pleasure — BJ @ 7:53 pm

I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt in that you’d probably call the cops if you witnessed a burglary on your neighbor’s house. What about for a drunk driver?

I was riding in a car next to one coming home from a late-night fast food run on Saturday. I mean, drunk like you wouldn’t believe someone would be that dumb to get behind the wheel. The kind of drunk that registers triple the limit when you get pulled over. The drunk that kills an Angels pitcher the night of his major league debut.

We first noticed this guy to the right of us when he didn’t immediately go on the green. He swerved through the two right lanes, braked in the middle of the road and braked late at the next stoplight. My driver was concerned with getting the hell out of there and left it up to me whether I wanted to report him. I decided not to, and my illogical rational was that I’d report the next one.

You don’t need to read MADD’s list to spot a drunk driver. It might actually confuse you in wondering if the dude’s drunk or getting road head. Either way, call the cops. They’re the same too; you think you can drive past it, but you can’t hide it. I promise you.

What’s up with MADD anyway? Whatever happened to FADD? Dads care to, I would think. Anyway, if you have AAA, you can get a free tow home on New Year’s Eve if you live within seven miles of where you’re stranded. As my festive friend believes the holiday season’s begun, happy holidays, everyone.




  1. I hate how you’re not supposed to follow them. They make one turn out of your sight, and the cops will never find them.

    Believe me, I spent a long time wondering aloud whether I should’ve done it. Can you imagine if I found out that guy killed someone? Most people wouldn’t want to.

    Comment by Bryan — October 27, 2010 @ 1:57 pm | Reply

  2. I’ve seen a few blatantly drunk drivers. Didn’t report any of them. It’s a mix of laziness and a sense of pointlessness. I’m not proud.

    Comment by Chris Le — October 26, 2010 @ 9:48 pm | Reply

  3. Called the cops for a drunk driver when I was in San Angelo, TX once. I had to give them the cross-streets and general direction of travel. Who knows what actually happened.

    Comment by James — October 26, 2010 @ 9:02 pm | Reply

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