Me and My Nine Iron

October 28, 2010

Spam calls

Filed under: For your pleasure — BJ @ 4:11 pm

Like most people, I won’t pick up if an unrecognizable number calls me. In the

Oh, hey, ya'll.

past week, I’ve gotten voicemails to my cell phone from a gay guy and a Vietnamese guy who left his message in his native tongue. Well, they both did. Zing! Both were clearly looking for someone else, as the gay guy mentioned in reference to my answering message, “You sound different,” in almost the exact same tone as Bruce from Family Guy. (Should that be slash Herbert, the pederast?)

It half-sounded like a business call from New York; I sure hope he got his contract concern resolved. The other was a 408 number from Milpitas. For a second there, I thought you had something to do with it, Chris. Maybe, I should’ve saved it and had you translate it for me. I can tell you this, he didn’t sound too happy.

If there’s anything I want from my new Attorney General, it’s stricter enforcement of harassing and law-breaking telemarketers. I know I won’t get it, and the FCC responded to my complaints saying they couldn’t find the companies in violation of anything. The National Do Not Call Registry is now rendered completely useless and out of nowhere, these unwanted calls have been made so frequently to my house that I’ve had to utilize my new AT&T U-verse Voice feature to block these assholes. Did you know telemarketers can call until 9p?

I feel I’ll exceed my limit of 20 blocked numbers in due time, it’s that bad. I’m talking several times a day, every single day – per company. And I don’t even know why these particular companies even call. A newspaper subscription company is among the top of the list of harassers; that’s a fine business, but you’re in Missouri and I live in California. What are you thinking? I don’t give two shits about your local news. And I’m not even counting the political calls I receive, which for no good reason is held an exception to the Do Not Call list.

So why don’t I just answer these calls and tell each company to put me on its do not call list like I’m supposed to? Because I physically can’t. The worst part of these calls is that they act like kids’ crank calls. Apparently, what happens is computers call house numbers automatically, even when there aren’t any operators to handle them. The calls then hang up immediately, realizing they fucked up. So you never even talk to anybody.

Only from a Google search of the numbers displayed on my Caller ID do I find out there are multiple threads of people complaining about the very same numbers and the very same habit of those very callers hanging up on them. I wish I had an ‘Ignore’ button on my home phone so I can at least do away with the incessant ringing.

It seems like for most things in this country, if you just go by the book and hope that the system will bestow upon you the righteousness you expect, you won’t get what you want.




  1. You had me at “Bruce.” I love that character. “Oh noooooo.”

    It should be noted that the Vietnamese language spoken by the average fob naturally sounds angry/irritated/rushed. So his message might’ve been innocuous.

    Comment by Chris Le — October 28, 2010 @ 9:44 pm | Reply

  2. It’s still there, it’s just not respected at all. Just to clarify, telemarketers are still supposed to abstain from calling those on the registry, but their free will to do otherwise goes unregulated.

    Comment by Bryan — October 28, 2010 @ 8:29 pm | Reply

  3. Wait, what happened to the Do Not Call List?

    Comment by James — October 28, 2010 @ 6:33 pm | Reply

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