Me and My Nine Iron

September 30, 2011

Movie reviews

It’s been another long two and a half months, but I blame that more on my two-dollar theater (yes, inflation has raised ticket prices a whopping 200%) not having much to show before the summer wave of movies.

Did I just watch three 5-star movies in a row? I don’t even know how I rate my movies, but they were good, I tell you.


I usually won’t give a 5-star rating if I didn’t like one thing about the movie, but there’s no way I could put this in the same territory as Your Highness so I’ll overlook that opening scene, which was awkward and unfunny. The female version of The Hangover was a winner on all levels, grossing $278 million – the highest Judd Apatow production to date, easily surpassing Knocked Up‘s $219 million. Jeff Bayer called it “the best female-driven, R-rated comedy of all time.” I don’t even know what would be on that list so I won’t disagree with it.

It surprises on so many levels, it’s laugh-out-loud funny throughout, Kristen Wiig owns the spotlight and Melissa McCarthy steals the show. It’s funny that this movie took so many years to make, went through development hell as Wiig and Annie Mumolo had never written a screenplay before, went about 20 minutes longer than a comedy should and ended up with a solid storyline. Easily the best comedy of the year.

Rating: 5 stars out of 5

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules

I don’t know why this Diary of a Wimpy Kid franchise doesn’t rate well on IMDb (6.1 for the first one, 6.0 for this), but everyone who’s watched it–young and old–enjoyed it thoroughly. It’s family fun, and it takes you back to middle school, where life is all about fitting in and looking cool. Plus, who doesn’t want to watch a 12-year-old Chris Farley in appearance and manner? Looking forward to Robert Capron and the gang in Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days next August.

Rating: 5 stars out of 5

Elite Squad 2: The Enemy Within (Brazil)

Imagine how much hysteria there would be in a crime-riddled country over a film that will exploit all of the corruption going on at the top. That (and a great movie) made this Portuguese film the highest-grossing movie of all-time in Brazil with $62 million US. Wagner Moura reprises the lead role with another captivating performance, and he’s so convincing I was hoping this guy would one day get the chance to appear in the States. Sure enough, he’ll have a bit in Elysium starring Matt Damon coming out in 2013.

While the ending leaves open the possibility of another exciting sequel, writer-director Jose Padilha has stated this will be his third and final film on the social scenario in Rio de Janeiro. It’s currently a Top 250 film on IMDb. Definitely worth checking out, and an awesome action crime movie in its own right.

Rating: 5 stars out of 5

Horrible Bosses

What a rollercoaster of my emotions this movie put me through – before I even watched it. The commercials looked unfunny, but everyone was saying it was an extremely funny movie, backed by a ridiculous IMDb rating at the time. Let’s just say I had really high expectations and was thoroughly disappointed at the comedy.

How this movie has a higher IMDb rating (7.3) than Bridesmaids (7.2) is a travesty of the (once) reputable site. USA Today should be shot with its praise that it’s a “surprising comedy that rivals Bridesmaids as the funniest film of the summer, if not the year.” This can’t hold a candle to Bridesmaids. Salon put it best with the review that it’s a “lot funnier in theory than in practice, but it won’t ruin your Saturday night”.

It was the highest-grossing black comedy of all-time, cashing in at $206 million, and like Bridesmaids, talks of a sequel are making its rounds. The only explanation for this box office success is that there are that many people that want their bosses dead.

Note: To all the liberal douches who are so sensitive, you should not be critiquing an R-rated comedy. To call this a homophobic (for the use of the word “fag” one time), racist and misogynistic (for having all-white, male protagonists and playing to stereotypes) movie makes you worse than USA Today.

Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Super 8

J.J. Abrams and Steven Spielberg produced this sci-fi movie, which Abrams wrote and directed, most assuredly to have fun filmmaking than to fulfill any other objective. Their biggest names were Dakota Fanning‘s 13-year-old younger sister and Aly Michalka‘s 20-year-old younger sister, and it grossed $253 million. The power of two legends.

Much to Elle Fanning‘s credit, however, it was an enjoyable movie with an epic train crash scene and a predictable but satisfying ending. Abrams will next tackle the Star Trek sequel to be released next year while Spielberg directed two movies set to come out in the last two weeks of the year, The Adventures of Tintin (an animation) and War Horse.

Rating: 4 stars out of 5



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