Me and My Nine Iron

October 27, 2011

Sex for cancer

Filed under: On the 6 o'clock news — BJ @ 12:42 am
Tags: , ,

You guys know how much I love studies, and earlier this month, new research revealed that oral sex, not tobacco smoking and alcohol use, is the leading cause of cancer in the mouth and throat. Men, don’t show this to your wives/girlfriends/boyfriends.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. All that dirty foreskin that marinades itself in your urine dribble and hasn’t been soaped in days shouldn’t be going into another person’s mouth, let alone banging repeatedly into the back of her throat.

Actually, the majority diagnosed are men, and there may be a reason for that. A vaccine for HPV, the most common sexually transmitted disease (STD), is recommended for those slutty teenage girls, which may be protecting them of this cancer. So shouldn’t they just start recommending the HPV vaccine to guys too, especially since the HPV vaccine maker has no plans to test the correlation between the vaccine and the cancer?

The most jarring statement: “persons who have had six or more partners on whom they’ve practiced unprotected oral sex are eight times more likely than those who have not had oral sex to develop the HPV-related mouth and throat cancers.”

Well, not jarring if you’re someone like me. Where six is more of a dream number than one you’ll ever meet…Hey, now when a chick wants me to return the favor after her jaw locks up from going downtown for 45 minutes, I can say, “No, bitch. I might get cancer.”



1 Comment »

  1. Gotta be considerate. Wash before she goes down. I’d expect/want the same courtesy from a girl.

    Comment by Chris — October 27, 2011 @ 8:52 am | Reply

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