Me and My Nine Iron

September 21, 2012

R.I.P. Tony Scott

On August 7, Arrested Development started shooting new episodes, and this one of Michael Cera as an Anteater (zot! zot!) was released – looking awkward as ever on a Segway. Awesome.

I came across this Dear Abby question, and I couldn’t not talk about it.

DEAR ABBY: One night I woke up to my cat scratching at my bedroom door to be let in. When I got up and opened the door, I heard my parents making love. They were so loud it grossed me out, because my little sister is 10 and we share a room right next to theirs. She still doesn’t know about this kind of stuff.

It goes on to ask what she should do, but here’s the dumbass response this poor girl got.

DEAR GROSSED OUT: Do not tell your parents to go to a motel. If the cat hadn’t wakened you and you hadn’t opened your bedroom door, you wouldn’t have heard a thing. Be glad that you have parents who love each other and that you didn’t overhear them fighting.

If your sister ever wakes up and gets scared, she should know she can wake you up.

P.S. At age 10, your sister shouldn’t be completely in the dark about the facts of life. And the person who should be talking to her about them is her mother.

The fact that the cat woke her up is irrelevant. If she were to get up to go to the bathroom, she would’ve heard it also. It’s not like she put her ear by her parents’ door and tried to hear it. They’re not allowed to be as loud as they want just because it’s a good thing that’s not fighting. That’s the stupidest reason ever. And I would much prefer to hear my parents fight than have sex. But that’s just me.

I also disagree that a 10-year-old can go on in life without learning about sex and reproduction, but if need be, how would her mother know to talk about it when stupid Abby told her daughter to keep her mouth shut? I say let it go the first time, but if it keeps happening, slam the door as loud as possible. The end. They seriously let anyone give advice. Send your burning questions my way, and I’ll answer them better than this iconic broad.

Finally, R.I.P. to Tony Scott, who committed suicide on August 19 at the age of 68. The shocking nature of the director-producer’s death–by jumping off a bridge in L.A. infamous for jumpers–was made even more tragic when a source claimed he had inoperable brain cancer. However, that was later refuted by his family.

The crazy thing about Ridley Scott‘s younger brother is that he had a very illustrious career, was very much working with over three dozen projects in development and had never been busier than in his last two years. It’s too bad those questions of why will go unanswered. I know it sounds crazy, but it feels like we lost one in the family. R.I.P.

  • Top Gun (director)
  • Beverly Hills Cop II (director)
  • The Last Boy Scout (director)
  • True Romance (director)
  • Crimson Tide (director)
  • The Fan (director)
  • Clay Pigeons (executive producer)
  • Enemy of the State (director)
  • Spy Game (director)
  • Man on Fire (director, producer)
  • Numb3rs (TV Series) (executive producer)
  • Deja Vu (director)
  • The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (executive producer)
  • The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (director, producer)
  • The Good Wife (TV Series) (executive producer)
  • Cyrus (executive producer)
  • The A-Team (producer)
  • Unstoppable (director, producer)
  • The Grey (executive producer)
  • Prometheus (producer)
  • The East (producer)
  • Stoker (executive producer)
  • Out of the Furnace (producer)
  • Prometheus 2 (producer) (announced)



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