Me and My Nine Iron

February 9, 2011

Celebrity breakups

They say celebrities die in threes. Well, three relationships just publicly died in the past two days.

Olivia Wilde

The 26-year-old actress best known as a mid-series regular on House M.D. and turned heads in the recent TRON: Legacy split after eight years of marriage with an Italian Prince. I should’ve seen this coming from a mile away (if I knew she had married at the age of 18). Just like Mila Kunis, Wilde’s stock is at an all-time high with a career year. This summer and fall, Wilde is starring in at least three wide releases in four months, and she’s just too big now to not be dating a fellow thespian, even if that means cutting ties with a Prince.

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz

After less than three years of marriage, the 26-year-old filed for divorce today from Fall Out Boy member and primary songwriter Pete Wentz. Here’s to hoping Wentz, who broke the band up a year ago this month, calls up his bandmates and tells them it’s back on, especially after what he finds in her filing: primary physical custody of their 2-year-old son, spousal and child support from Wentz and terminate the court’s ability to award spousal support to Wentz.

Sienna Miller

Despite recent rumors of an imminent second engagement, Miller broke up with Jude Law again. Perhaps, this time it was that Law was so excited about his birthday on December 29 that he forgot all about her birthday on December 28. That’s a deal breaker, right?

Maybe, the three guys can get together and play this song about their exes and their future Jude Laws. And they can all switch the nationalities in the chorus because they’re all from different countries.



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