Me and My Nine Iron

September 17, 2012

Mondays

Carl Crawford, the victim. The $20 million player has since been traded to the Dodgers.

In July, the Massachusetts mayor elected to fire an officer for a racial slur of a baseball player while off-duty at a baseball game. The racial slur in question? A Monday – a use of the word I don’t know anyone I know has ever heard before. The origin:

The word can be used as a derogatory term for blacks, and is often associated with Mondays being one of the most-hated days of the week, such as in the common phrase, ”I hate Mondays.”

First of all, that has got to be the stupidest, least offensive racial slur out of all the races there is. Seriously, that’s something a third-grader would say. The player was immediately offended by it so I’m guessing he knew what that meant, but c’mon. For a race that seems to be the most fiery and physically tough, they’re easily the most sensitive. In fact, I can assure you I just offended someone reading this right now.

Shouldn’t have been said out of sheer lack of creativity and should’ve been a non-issue for the same reason.

Holly Madison will end her run on Las Vegas’ Peepshow on October 21 to focus on adopting a baby from either Africa or South Korea.

Just adopt me. We can pretend I’m from Korea, and we can forgo all the diaper troubles, unless you want to. Looking forward to making babies with my adopted mother.

Update: Madison is pregnant with her boyfriend of less than a year. What was interesting was she said this back in June, “I’m not pregnant right now,” the former Playboy model, 32, said, “but if that happened tomorrow I’d be fine with it.” Looks like it literally did; she conceived in June.

Madison’s boyfriend is actually currently facing up to 13 years in prison on charges of bribery and embezzlement. Sounds like an upstanding dude. If you need help, Holly, holler.

They say the bigger you are, the harder the fall. That couldn’t be more true for two stars who made just one mistake in their personal life that ended up costing them dearly, simultaneously: Chad Johnson, formerly Chad Ochocinco, NFL player and reality TV star, and Kristen Stewart, the highest-paid actress in the last year ($34.5 million).

Johnson’s bad week:

8/11 Arrested for allegedly headbutting his wife, Evelyn Lozada, during an argument which arose from her finding a receipt for a box of condoms.
8/12 Released from the Miami Dolphins for being arrested.
8/13 VH1’s Ev and Ocho, set to premiere in September, is dropped.
8/14 The episode when he was released by the head coach on HBO’s Hard Knocks airs. His wife files for divorce.
8/15 Loses an endorsement deal with coconut water brand Zico.

Update: 9/14 Johnson files for divorce.

Stewart’s bad month:

7/17 Caught by photographers cheating on her boyfriend Robert Pattinson, with her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders.
7/22 Stewart and Pattinson argue at the Teen Choice Awards.
7/25 Issues public apology.
7/26 Pattinson moves out of their shared home.
8/14 Universal Pictures scraps plans to make a Snow White and the Huntsman sequel and instead will make a movie about The Huntsman.
8/28 Pattinson puts home up for sale.

Update: 9/16 Stewart and Pattinson are back together.

At least one of them had a happy ending. And that includes Sanders and his now-estranged wife, Liberty Ross. I can’t imagine the gifts Sanders is going to shower Ross with on her birthday this Sunday.

BJ

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